


Folks Love my Boss

by ChainSmokesPens



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Flash Fic, Office, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChainSmokesPens/pseuds/ChainSmokesPens
Summary: Prompt: [Got Deleted Pre-Post; Sent Directly to Poster] God creates a writing prompt on Reddit and no one clicks it.





	Folks Love my Boss

I admit to getting a little glossy-eyed when I'm looking over my monitor. Just letting all the information wash over without a thought.

Another rock fell into the Yellowstone Caldera and pushed the magma a billionth of a millimeter up.

The plastic straws in the trash bag thrown out by Juniper at Café Deluxe on 5th and Dakota were going to skewer ten fish and three turtles in about two weeks.

One blade of grass in Larry Whitmoore's lawn was going to be a centimeter shorter than the rest because the angel whose job it was to encourage it to grow was taking a longer-than-standard smoke break.

The sun, as he usually did, was screaming about how hot it was.

I’d been watching for three months, essentially just getting into my shift, and I was starting to find my zen. Just take it all in while my mind went somewhere else for a while.

"Hey, Mike!" I jumped a bit, spilling my coffee on the robe my wife just pulled out of the dryer before I left for work. She wasn't going to get off my ass for a week.

I spun around in my chair. "Yes, boss?"

"Beautiful morning right?" he said, tapping on the side of my cubicle and he started to slide in.

"As you always make it, sir."

"Right, right."

He slid his hand down his face and kept walking over. He slid a finger over the picture of my wife I kept to the wall. I hated when he did that. Not as much as I hated him plopping onto my desk, though.

Which he did next.

It was fine. I didn't necessarily need to put my mug down yet.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?" I pulled my mug to my lips again.

"Well," he mused, coquettishly, like he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. Like he didn't know how this entire conversation would go and hadn't already experienced it more than a hundred different times in this very moment with me alone. "I was actually on Reddit earlier."

This threw me off so much that I, again, spilled my coffee on myself. "God damn it," I muttered.

"You got it," he chuckled, pointing his fingers at my robes and igniting the stains

In that moment, each drop of the coffee was blessed with cognizance. They had fond memories of being planted, grown, harvested, packaged, brewed. Every bean they met along the way had been given a name, face, and a life of their own. The previously insignificant coffee staining the robe, that my wife cleaned and gave to me before I came into the office, had awoken to a new state of existence.

Only to scream in agony as each molecule was engulfed in flames and evaporated.

And now there was a gaping hole in my robe.

That was fine. "So, yeah, I was just scrolling through Reddit and I found this niche little SubReddit with, like only a few million subscribers."

"Yeah," I said, pretending that I wasn't talking to my boss with a freshly smoking hole right above the crotch of my clothing.

"Basically, you put in a writing prompt and other Redditors make little short stories based on it."

"Sounds like fun."

"Yeah, yeah..." He trailed off a bit there.

He looked somewhere else, and, when I noticed it was right back to the picture of my wife, I called his attention back to me. "So, uh, what's got you so upset, Boss?"

He plopped all the way across my desk, elbows firmly on my keyboard as his hands held up his head. The images on my monitor spun through everything currently happening in existence, dream, metaphor, imagination, and goat reality. "So I put up a prompt that was basically my life story and waited for people to respond, but no one wrote anything."

I tried to keep my face under control, but I couldn't help but look at the most intelligent and wise being in the multiverse like the most stupid thing I'd seen in my entire existence.

And I'd watched the Crusades.

"Sir, it doesn't sound like that's what that SubReddit is for. If you feel like blogging, maybe try Tumblr? Reddit isn't really the most welcoming place online for personal discussions."

He wasn't there anymore. He didn't disappear in a poof of smoke, or fade out, he just wasn't there.

He was in the entryway to my cubicle again though, smiling, leaning against the frame. 'Wow, thanks, Mike! I knew I could count on you to point me the right direction."

"Anytime." I tried to turn back to my screen, but he continued.

"Still..."

I turned back around.

"Maybe write a short on my Reddit Post?"

I took a swig from my mug. "Can do."

"And upvote it?"

"You got it."

"Maybe give it a medal?"

"I...don't use Reddit enough I don't know how you even..."

He cut me off. "That's fine, that's fine. Keep up the good work." And he walked away.

I popped over to Reddit and managed to find his prompt pretty quickly:

"[WP] Your All-Powerful Creator Will Grant You Infinite Wisdom If You can Guess and Recount, in Written Form, Within a Realm of Twenty Percent Accuracy, His Birth, Childhood, Upbringing, Romantic History, and Career Choices (No Gore, No Rape, Try to Make it Funny)"

I palmed my forehead. "Christ."

My neighbor popped over the boundary wall. "Yo."

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of the earlier prompts from Reddit I decided to write on. It was also the first to get deleted in the length of time it took me to write it. Oh well.


End file.
